Lately
I’ve been thinking if I am living or just being. Days were passing by without
me noticing that or what actually happened. I have to say, that I didn’t fancy
the past few days when I felt kind of trapped in a not really amusing way of
life. Worst thing is that you start doing things so automatically that you
don’t even recall making them. I think this image is really scary for me.
What
I try to do recently is to focus on what I am doing. I don’t like to do many
things at one time, because (though it might seem that it is really useful
sometimes) it doesn’t have the right value. It’s as if you imagine some artist
painting a picture and meanwhile cooking dinner, watching TV and talking with
his friends. Just this thought makes me laugh. When I look back, I had a lot of
these moments doing everything at the same time, but I don’t see any sense in
it anymore.
You
can’t be surprised that your dinner is burnt if you do a few things meanwhile.
You can’t be surprised that nothing happened during the day, when you were just
dreaming on FB while doing something all day. There is no point in it. It is
impressive how long it takes us to notice these things, to wake up and start
doing things we love properly. The world gives us so many opportunities, we are
overwhelmed and can’t decide, so we don’t do anything or everything. By
focusing on things, I notice that I enjoy doing them more, because I have them
more under control. Or maybe I should say that I know what I am doing, not just
moving without any thought. That suddenly seems so empty.
Let
me give one recent example I noticed. What pleasure can I have of walking in
the nature while listening to the music? I have to say I enjoyed it a lot a
couple of years ago, but if I do it now, I feel like deaf. There are so many
calming and happy noises in the nature that if you listen to music, I miss
them. It feels very unnatural. And just a while ago, I turned on video and
tried to write this article when I realized it’s not happening. Silly me.
Have
you ever thought about these things? Are you living or did you turn on autopilot........
This is one consequence of capitalism, it turns us in soulless beings (what you had written was once said by Max Weber using different words; however his view was more pessimistic and he did not see any bright future for humanity in this capitalist society)
ReplyDeleteI see, that is interesting... Well, I am always optimist, so I see bright future (at least for myself :D). If people want to change it, they can. And I am sure there are quite some who don't want to be these walking dead :D
ReplyDelete