I guess it is not coincidence that all my things are becoming blue. That would be too much coincidence, because whether I buy them or get them from someone else... They are blue.
As days pass and my mind wanders, a lot of
thoughts come to my mind. Last year I felt a bit trapped between the
expectations of society and my own desires. Just with this sentence many ideas
come to me, but now I want to focus on one thing: writing.
When I was in elementary school and later
in high school, I used to write a lot. Many short stories, poems and also a book
with my friend. Honestly, I had so much fun exchanging our ideas and trying to
get better. After a lot of pages written, I dare to say that my style improved
a lot (well, in Czech at least). Then in the uni, I stopped doing most of the
things I loved. The things which you do and get absorbed by them. When hours
feel like minutes.
In addition to this pause, there was most
certainly „an artist block“ when you stare at a blank page and you’re just too
scared to write or draw something. At least music took place in my life and my
creativity was going in another direction. Though somewhere in a foggy place in
my head there was one sentence which appeared from time to time.
„One day you will write something amazing.“
I was waiting for the right moment to
start, always telling to myself this is not the right time. No, I don’t have
enough experience to do it. I kept saying no and postponing it. I felt there
was something fishy, but at the same time I was happy that one day something
will happen. Out of blue.
So now I am in the UK, trying to figure
out what’s best for me and suddenly (surrounded by my blue things) I realize
that I want to write. But how can I get into a writing sphere when I have no
proof that my writing skills are great? I have most certainly written almost
two hundred articles, but there’s no English. So I decided to start this blog.
And then ideas started coming. Short stories. I feel like I opened a giant door
to wonderland. Just by a small change in my head, I feel I am much closer to
the one day now. I feel that if I would have had this thought all my life, I
would be very unhappy one day. And if I don’t write anything awesome? Then I am
having a great time now anyway.
What are you waiting for?
Oh Yeah!!! What an inspiration!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDelaying because you are not good enough if also denying you can improve. And any improvement has to start from a "not so good position" in order to IMPROVE and become "a pretty acceptable position" , that may develop to "oh yeah I did it!!! " :) But all artists start from scratch and it is that will to improve and create no matter what that makes them good!
Remember Aikido? I am sure you are way better than when you started it! But when you had a little cute white belt, you were creating your way in the martial art without noticing. I believe art is the same: just do it no matter what and take the judgement out of it! You will become better and better without noticing! :)
Hehe, great to hear that :) yeah, exactly... When I look back, I can definitely see quite some progress in all sorts of things I've been doing and I am proud that I found the courage to continue. Sometimes it's really good to look back and then we can see how much has changed :) So I feel really happy that I start doing things and I know, that somehow I will become better even without realizing it.... as it goes for everyone :) Even this blog could become a proof of it one day.... hehehe :)
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